A CUSTOMER CAME INTO THE STORE WITH THIS BEAUTY TODAY AND I SQUEALED A LOT
Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.
Me: What black pen?
Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.
Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?
Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.
We got one of those tech support scam calls today. My mom likes trolling them. One time, after talking to them for about 20 minutes, she finally said that she didn’t have a computer.
They called quite a few times today. This time, my mom told them that she accidentally unplugged the computer. The last time they called today, the guy on the phone told my mom to go fuck herself. We were all laughing about that.
A large bull moose in the process of shedding his velvet.
photo by Nate Zeman | natezeman.com
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In a few days, me and my dad might go swimming at the lake. We haven’t gone this year yet. My mom also might go.
Last year, a pool opened up around here. I went to it once, but I didn’t really like it very much. It was too crowded and there were a lot of kids that splashed me and Catherine. Plus, it’s a lot more expensive than the lake.
Seems about right.
This male Crepidual has unfortunately stumbled across a pack of ravenous spear prods. Spear prods are pack hunting monopods. Using their spear like “leg” in conjunction with a highly specialized internal balancing organ, spear prods catapult themselves and glide as a means of locomotion. Stealth hunters, when not in the move they are rather sedate, sitting and waiting for their next meal. Multi serrated mouth parts make their bite quite devastating, leaving massive lesions in their prey.
Crepidual are Protandrous Hermaphrodites. Born asexual. As they develop their first stage in life is male. Once large enough they will become female. Females are nearly twice the size of their male counterparts.
Do to the size disparity male are unable to mount their behemoth brides. The Horn like protuberance, though used for defense in females, actually houses the genitalia of the Crepidual during the male stage of life. The fan like genitalia can extend twice the length of his body to reach his mate’s gonopore at the base of her abdomen. As he develops into a female, the male genitalia will begin to shrink and keratin will turn the once hollow genital capsule into a thick strong horn.